Going Abroad ~ if only a few paces...

Part two of Project Nalla Motta has taken place and with seemingly positive results. My passport renewal was a breeze. I submitted the application on a Thursday and, with the help of my congressman, received it in the mail exactly one week later. You can come back into the States by land with just your driver's license and birth certificate but, having my passport, felt good all the same.

I also received news that we did not receive the grant. Unexpectedly, this came as a relief to me because now I have the opportunity of undergoing multiple cycles rather than just one.

My appointment was today and my dad very kindly accompanied me first to Brownsville and then to Matamoros. After checking into our hotel yesterday evening, and grabbing some dinner items at HEB, we decided to make a quick visit to the beach. Instead of going to South Padre, however, we went to Boca Chica Beach which was lovely. (Except I kept calling it Boco Chico by mistake. I blame Topo Chico. That is all.) We got to the beach at sunset and there were just a few people splashing about in the waves or wandering around the beach. I have never been in a car driven on the beach before so that was interesting – however, even more interesting was when my dad flatly refused to get out of the car. I was truly baffled. Still, his decision did not hamper me in the least. I got out and collected sea shells as the water rushed gently over my feet. It was beautiful. My feet became very sandy. I got back in the car. His car...

The next morning we were to be picked up by my doctor's driver, Mario. Mario typically picks up everyone in front of Motel 6 but, as we were staying at a different location, I asked if he could meet us there. I wasn't sure what to expect. Another patient who I've connected with online was waiting at Motel 6 and was also concerned she would be left behind. We began messaging online and committed ourselves to helping each other. Whichever of us got picked up first would make sure that the other was picked up as well. This turned out to be a vital arrangement for me because, when the van reached Motel 6, there were so many passengers that my online friend and her mom barely made it on board. Remembering our pact, she asked the driver what was going to happen to me and, as it turned out, I had somehow slipped under his radar. He said the van was full but that he would come back and get us – which he did. It took about an hour and so we were almost the last to arrive at the office for the day. Only one other patient came in after me.

The office is located right across the border in a narrow street lined with parked cars. As I fumbled with a tip for the driver, and kept our van blocking the street, horns blared behind us and reminded me of where I was. Mario directed us inside the small clinic which was clean and bright. The ground floor is reserved for procedures and upstairs is where the offices are. We were told to go upstairs and sign in. A couple sat at the top of the steps and we had to squeeze past them on our way to the front desk. There was a small waiting room space and all the chairs were full. Spanish television commentating on the World Cup played quietly on the television.

At the front desk the nurse asked me if I was a new patient and then handed me the new patient form to fill out. It was refreshingly simple. All I needed was my name, address, gender, spouse's name, phone number, email address and blood type. That's it. Other than blood type, no medical information. I loved it!

As mentioned, the waiting room was full, but a gentleman stood up and let me have his seat. I was excited to meet my fellow patients and, as more seats became available, was able to make my way closer to the group of people that I already knew from our online conversations. There were several people from Florida and a couple from Texas. Everyone was excited and joyful at being there. We shared experiences and information, we talked about the best way to make it across the border and back, and we talked about the accommodation deals in Brownsville. One patient wanted to know more about PGS and so I was able to share my newly acquired knowledge of this topic. Another patient's mother was so sweet in her encouragement to us all. She was warm, friendly and bubbling with positivity and it was really nice to be around her. It was a brilliant and exciting time!

After a long wait that went by in a flash, I was taken in to see Dr. Garza. He is an imposing figure with a calm demeanor. There is a sense of humor in his expression and he didn't over-complicate our meeting. As he put it, my age is a factor as egg quality diminishes in everyone, however, he will give me medicine and then it will be up to God to decide when and if to give me a baby. Nothing too complex at all. Next he did a sonogram and seemed impressed with the results from my past surgery. My ovary that had housed my dermoid cyst was thriving. There were plenty of follicles on it so all was good.

Dr Garza recommended that I complete a cycle of medication before starting IVF. This means that I will most likely return to Brownsville in late July rather than the end of June. Of course, I'm really hoping that I'll only need to go after Grandma's birthday but that is yet to be decided. Also? The medication I'm starting will be a daily shot into my stomach. Fun...

As I was making my payment at the desk a couple with a baby walked up.  Dr Garza saw them and he walked over to them quickly.  They exchanged happy communications and then Dr Garza turned to me and explained that the baby was a miracle baby.  A good omen? Perhaps.

Our way back to Texas was fairly uneventful. Thankfully my dad and I were able to squeeze into the already full van so that we didn't have to wait for a second trip. The line of cars going through the check point lasted forever and, as we were barely moving, the a/c in the van shut down. It was hot but our happiness took center stage and we didn't mind it too much.

And now we're back home. I have a fridge full of medicine to use up through July and my dad is probably just happy to be back in his house unpacking. It was a quick trip but felt very eventful. I hope July speeds by so that the real work can begin.

The First Two Years ~ An Overview

I'm writing to share a long struggle J and I have been dealing with. It's been emotionally and financially draining but we keep finding ways to tackle new obstacles.

In May 2016, I underwent surgery which included a hysteroscopy with polypectomy, a laparoscopic Da Vinci assisted ovarian cystectomy (7.5 Dermoid cyst), and a posterior myomectomy.

Following my recovery, J and I wanted to have a baby. Because ovulation didn't seem strong enough, my OBGYN prescribed medication (Clomid) and I was able to achieve pregnancy in October of 2016. Unfortunately, sonograms showed a blighted ovum and I miscarried naturally a few weeks later. After a couple of months we began trying again and I became pregnant for the second time in May of 2017. This time a heart beat was visible at six weeks but, after a few more weeks, the heart beat stopped and I miscarried naturally.

I again waited a two month period before trying. My doctor continued me on medication and also referred me to a perinatal specialist. This new doctor had me do an HSG which showed that I had no blockages or scarring. HSG is an interesting procedure that uses x-ray and dye to view the structure of your reproductive organs. In addition to the HSG, my perinatal specialist also ran different blood tests and treated both J and I with antibiotics. All my tests came back negative and, with this information, my doctors seemed to think I had a good chance of getting pregnant again and maintaining a healthy pregnancy. I just needed to produce that good egg...

When I was still not pregnant in January of this year, they suggested that I visit a fertility center. Since then I have been under the care of a reproductive endocrinologist who recommended two IUIs before moving on to IVF with PGS. However, because of the huge expense of IVF, my husband and I opted for four IUIs in the hope that we could be successful this way. Unfortunately, all four IUIs failed.

The cost of IVF with PGS in Texas is about 24,000 for one round. Typically someone with my history can need several rounds and even then there is no guarantee. We applied to two grants but are unlikely to receive help this way. Nevertheless, as we weren't ready to give up, we looked at options outside of the US. I have found a doctor in Matamoros, Mexico who comes with very high reviews. I have been in communication with him, and with many of his patients over these last couple of weeks, and feel confident in his treatment. His approach is much more conservative than my doctor in the US and his small set-up reminds me of a multitude of excellent medical experiences I've had in India. Because he is so much more affordable, I could potentially complete three IVF cycles with him if needed.

For the treatment I will need to stay in Brownsville, Texas for about two weeks. The doctor has a driver that will come over the border to pick me up for each appointment. I've applied for my passport renewal and am going to call my congressman's office to see if they can get it expedited. As of right now, it looks like I'll head down there in the last week of June, assuming I can get everything in order on time.

This has been a very long and complex journey, much more so than I'm able to include here. Still, I wanted to share a little of what we've been going through and let you know our future plans. Also, I've learned a valuable lesson which, if nothing else, will be something positive I can carry away from this experience. That is that sometimes people are in pain but either can't or choose not to talk about it. At times I found myself deeply sad inside while I listened to other people's troubles and comforted them. This made me aware that even when smiling, you never know a person's true feeling and, while sometimes you need to vent, you also need to be keenly aware of the receiver's emotional well being.

This all sounds very heavy! My sad feelings are all in the past right now and I'm excited to be moving forward towards a possible solution. It's going to be an adventure! Again, there is no guarantee that IVF will work and, even if I get pregnant, I could easily miscarry. Still, I feel like I have to try.

I would be remiss to write all this without mentioning Nurse C who helped care for me after my surgery. She called me several times a day and I adored all the attention. When I tried not to take too many pain meds, she reprimanded me by telling me that it was no time for me to be a hero.  She explained that the pain medications would help me walk around and, therefore, heal faster. I felt very sheepish after that conversation. Following the surgery she stuck with me and helped me through my two brief pregnancies.  Aside from her loving and caring nature, Nurse C is ridiculously prompt!  I don't think a nurse exists that can respond as fast as she does. Recently Nurse C moved out of state but gave me her email address before leaving. She has been a very inspiring and comforting force through this long adventure.  

Finally, please feel free to share if you know someone going through this. While I am by no means an expert, I've gained real insight into the infertility world and am happy to give more. In fact, I would like to write up a detailed outline of all the testing, medication and supplementation that I've been through – there is always a need for more information and so much of it you have to find on your own.

Thank you all of reading this far into our story. Positive thoughts coming our way are appreciated!

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