The First Two Years ~ An Overview

I'm writing to share a long struggle J and I have been dealing with. It's been emotionally and financially draining but we keep finding ways to tackle new obstacles.

In May 2016, I underwent surgery which included a hysteroscopy with polypectomy, a laparoscopic Da Vinci assisted ovarian cystectomy (7.5 Dermoid cyst), and a posterior myomectomy.

Following my recovery, J and I wanted to have a baby. Because ovulation didn't seem strong enough, my OBGYN prescribed medication (Clomid) and I was able to achieve pregnancy in October of 2016. Unfortunately, sonograms showed a blighted ovum and I miscarried naturally a few weeks later. After a couple of months we began trying again and I became pregnant for the second time in May of 2017. This time a heart beat was visible at six weeks but, after a few more weeks, the heart beat stopped and I miscarried naturally.

I again waited a two month period before trying. My doctor continued me on medication and also referred me to a perinatal specialist. This new doctor had me do an HSG which showed that I had no blockages or scarring. HSG is an interesting procedure that uses x-ray and dye to view the structure of your reproductive organs. In addition to the HSG, my perinatal specialist also ran different blood tests and treated both J and I with antibiotics. All my tests came back negative and, with this information, my doctors seemed to think I had a good chance of getting pregnant again and maintaining a healthy pregnancy. I just needed to produce that good egg...

When I was still not pregnant in January of this year, they suggested that I visit a fertility center. Since then I have been under the care of a reproductive endocrinologist who recommended two IUIs before moving on to IVF with PGS. However, because of the huge expense of IVF, my husband and I opted for four IUIs in the hope that we could be successful this way. Unfortunately, all four IUIs failed.

The cost of IVF with PGS in Texas is about 24,000 for one round. Typically someone with my history can need several rounds and even then there is no guarantee. We applied to two grants but are unlikely to receive help this way. Nevertheless, as we weren't ready to give up, we looked at options outside of the US. I have found a doctor in Matamoros, Mexico who comes with very high reviews. I have been in communication with him, and with many of his patients over these last couple of weeks, and feel confident in his treatment. His approach is much more conservative than my doctor in the US and his small set-up reminds me of a multitude of excellent medical experiences I've had in India. Because he is so much more affordable, I could potentially complete three IVF cycles with him if needed.

For the treatment I will need to stay in Brownsville, Texas for about two weeks. The doctor has a driver that will come over the border to pick me up for each appointment. I've applied for my passport renewal and am going to call my congressman's office to see if they can get it expedited. As of right now, it looks like I'll head down there in the last week of June, assuming I can get everything in order on time.

This has been a very long and complex journey, much more so than I'm able to include here. Still, I wanted to share a little of what we've been going through and let you know our future plans. Also, I've learned a valuable lesson which, if nothing else, will be something positive I can carry away from this experience. That is that sometimes people are in pain but either can't or choose not to talk about it. At times I found myself deeply sad inside while I listened to other people's troubles and comforted them. This made me aware that even when smiling, you never know a person's true feeling and, while sometimes you need to vent, you also need to be keenly aware of the receiver's emotional well being.

This all sounds very heavy! My sad feelings are all in the past right now and I'm excited to be moving forward towards a possible solution. It's going to be an adventure! Again, there is no guarantee that IVF will work and, even if I get pregnant, I could easily miscarry. Still, I feel like I have to try.

I would be remiss to write all this without mentioning Nurse C who helped care for me after my surgery. She called me several times a day and I adored all the attention. When I tried not to take too many pain meds, she reprimanded me by telling me that it was no time for me to be a hero.  She explained that the pain medications would help me walk around and, therefore, heal faster. I felt very sheepish after that conversation. Following the surgery she stuck with me and helped me through my two brief pregnancies.  Aside from her loving and caring nature, Nurse C is ridiculously prompt!  I don't think a nurse exists that can respond as fast as she does. Recently Nurse C moved out of state but gave me her email address before leaving. She has been a very inspiring and comforting force through this long adventure.  

Finally, please feel free to share if you know someone going through this. While I am by no means an expert, I've gained real insight into the infertility world and am happy to give more. In fact, I would like to write up a detailed outline of all the testing, medication and supplementation that I've been through – there is always a need for more information and so much of it you have to find on your own.

Thank you all of reading this far into our story. Positive thoughts coming our way are appreciated!

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